The hidden impact of your childhood experiences. 

The hidden impact of your childhood experiences. 

We all struggle in our lives from time to time, and some of us struggle more than others. We might tell ourselves it’s because we’re lazy or stupid or incapable. But most of us have very little awareness of what the real reason is. Whether we had an unhappy childhood,...

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You’ve got bad habits you’re not even aware of. 

You’ve got bad habits you’re not even aware of. 

Like many people, you might have pledged a New Year resolution to get fitter, eat more healthily or get more sleep. You might decide you’re going to quit your bad habits like smoking, drinking or biting your nails. When I talk about ‘bad habits’ I’m talking about...

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Why I do what I do.

Why I do what I do.

The truth about why you’re stuck in unhelpful behaviour and what to do about it. I knew this was coming weeks ago but I kept putting it off. Now there’s only 4 days left to go and I’m starting to feel a rising sense of panic. An old friend I haven’t seen in years is...

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What your unhelpful habits say about you.

What your unhelpful habits say about you.

We all like to feel that we’re in control of what happens to us and how we behave. But very often there are things we seem to do over and over. Even though we know they’re not helpful, we can’t seem to stop. Once you realise where these unhelpful habits really come...

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Why your ‘failure’ is essential.

Why your ‘failure’ is essential.

On some level we all want to learn and grow, be a “good person” and feel happy as often as possible.   That’s not too much to ask the Universe is it? But there’s a whole load of layers, not to mention potential messiness in that description.  Because first of...

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How catastrophe could turn out to be your saviour

How catastrophe could turn out to be your saviour

Most of us go through our days trying to be happy, healthy and living the best life we can. We avoid conflict and drama, and try to forget those past times in our life that were difficult.  But sometimes life conspires to bring us face to face with those things...

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What is complex PTSD?

What is complex PTSD?

There are things that happen within our own families and communities that have a long term negative impact. And it’s those things that go on unseen, over many years, that can have a devastating effect on the lives of people who experience them.
Let me introduce you to something called complex PTSD.

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The real reason behavioural therapy isn’t working for you.

The real reason behavioural therapy isn’t working for you.

When you know you’re not coping well with everyday life, you might decide to try behavioural therapy. You might have heard great things about it, and been recommended to try ‘CBT’ (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). You might have many weeks or months of therapy but it still doesn’t seem to make any difference. You do your therapy ‘homework’, yet still feel uncomfortable in some situations.

If therapy isn’t working, you might start to question whether there is any hope for you. Well, I want to reassure you, and give you some clarity about what’s actually going on.

There is a good reason why behavioural therapy isn’t working for you if you’ve experienced trauma.

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What counts as traumatic experience?

What counts as traumatic experience?

We’re surrounded by news reports about the tragic things that happen in our world. War, catastrophic floods, hurricanes wiping out entire villages.   These things are so devastating we call them ‘traumatic’.  We understand that word ‘trauma’ to mean something BIG. ...

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The deeper meaning hidden in your intense reactions

The deeper meaning hidden in your intense reactions

If you prefer your life to be simple and uncomplicated, welcome to the club!  We all want a straightforward life, where everything makes sense.  A life where what happens to us and how we respond is predictable and safe.  But for some of us, it doesn’t happen like...

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How to cope when you feel abandoned.

How to cope when you feel abandoned.

The world is often a difficult place to navigate. People say and do hurtful things to each other.  Sometimes by accident, and sometimes on purpose.  Even those people who should love and support us can sometimes neglect their ‘duty of care’. We can feel bruised and...

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