Do you find yourself feeling shy and insecure and not knowing who is the right person for you to ‘be’ when you interact with people?
Do you ever find yourself putting on an act, pretending to be a certain way, to fit in so that other people will like you better ?
You might feel like a flag blowing in the wind with no fixed personality.
I know how that feels, it’s really tiring both physically and emotionally.
And it’s also frustrating because you seem to do it automatically, and then beat yourself up afterwards, because that’s not how you want to be.
Be kind to yourself – there is a way out of this – and part of the solution is to
find an ‘anchor’ for yourself, a solid grounded sense of ‘wholeness’ that’s unaffected by whatever is going on around you
Being aware of what’s going on CONSCIOUSLY is really important! So if you can already see that this is a problem for you, then you’re well on your way to overcoming it.
The next steps are to uncover what’s going on UNconsciously.
The feelings underneath may be tangled up in knots of fear.
Watch the video!
To untangle these knots, and learn how to overcome shyness,
When you meet people for the first time, do you assume they know more than you?
Assume that what you say would be irrelevant or they’d think it was silly, so you stay quiet ?
(and then give yourself a hard time later because of what you could have said, should have said)
This reminds me of a powerful experience I had a few years ago.
I was on an advanced coach training course with a group of around 10 people. We were looking at an image which was a trick – in the same image was an old woman, and also a young woman depending on how you looked at it.
Everyone except one person in the group had ‘got it’ i.e. seen both images, and the others were trying to explain to this one person how to ‘see’ the young woman in the image.
I listened patiently while everyone spoke their suggestions, but this person still didn’t ‘get it’.
I stayed quiet because I thought “Well there’s nothing new I could contribute”
As I watched this person get more and more frustrated (and no-one else seemed to be helping) I decided to pluck up the courage and just speak my suggestion.
So I said, ‘She’s looking away’
That’s all I said, three little words, and instantly this woman said ‘Ah, yes, I see it now, thanks!’
And everyone else was relieved that we could now move on to something else, and that was the end of that.
Except it wasn’t the end for me.
For me that whole event was a HUGE deal … it hit me like a lightening bolt !