fear of askingYou’ve done great work with someone, they’re really pleased with how you’ve helped them,

yet you never quite get round to asking for a testimonial.

It never seems like the ‘right time’, you don’t want to bother them, or fear deep down that they’ll say ‘No’.

So now it’s been some time ago, and they’ve probably forgotten, so you can’t ask them now…. and on it goes.

Does this sound familiar ?

Yup it’s very common.  I’ve come across this a lot amongst my clients. It seems to be a feature of heart centred, compassionate folks, who do a lot of good in the world, yet find it hard to ask (and receive) in return.

Why does this happen?

It’s almost like we get thrown back into the school playground – whether you were ‘picked’ for the sports team, or left til the very end (because no-one wanted you on their team … oh the agony of those times!) – those memories linger.

Not feeling ‘good enough’, scared of rejection, not wanting to take up people’s time – there’s a mix of possible reasons, but it all boils down to one thing in the end.

Are you living in the present, or the past?

There is a way round this … that will transform your fear of asking!

There are three steps to resolving this.

1) Be clear on what’s going on in your mind.

What’s the self talk that you’re telling yourself will happen if you ask for that testimonial?

Are you telling yourself they’ll say ‘No’, change their mind and decide they didn’t like what you did after all, or will they be annoyed with you?

Whatever it is, write it down or say it in your mind, so it’s out there and not lingering somewhere in the shadows.

Once you’ve done this you might realise how unlikely (even ridiculous..?) it sounds out loud.

2) Allow the memory of your work with them to come alive.

Think back to when you’d just finished working with them – they’re pleased, proud, they’ve got what they wanted and more, they tell you how much you’ve helped them and they’re very grateful.

You feel pleased and you know you did a good job.

Remember this feeling, this vision, this memory – make it bolder in your mind, the colours more vivid, the sounds more clear and distinct.

Deepen that feeling, what’s going on in your heart and theirs at that moment.

This is the ‘truth’ – the present moment reality of how it was for them.

(and they will always remember that, just as you do). They might not remember the specifics of what you said or did, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.

No matter what your mind has told you ‘might’ happen – this is the real story of how they experienced your work, and this is the memory that will make it easier for you to ask for your testimonial.

3) Go ahead and ask!

The truth is that people will be happy to answer your questions, even if your work together was some time ago. People want to help you! Though it’s a fact that they’re also busy, and they may not get round to it – but at least you asked (and that gives you practice for next time).

It’s best to ask for testimonials as soon as possible after you finish working with someone – so it’s at the forefront of their mind, and before it slips down their priority list.

Here’s a couple of useful posts on the specifics of getting testimonials:

Heart of Business style and  Psychotactics style! 

Remember – it’s not about you it’s about THEM.

This testimonial will enable you to help more people!  The reason you ask for testimonials for your website and marketing materials is so that potential clients will feel safe enough to reach out for your support.

When potential clients read (or listen to) the experiences of others who’ve worked with you, it makes you seem more trustworthy, and credible, so they can move towards you and receive the help with their problem that you can so easily give!  It’s a Win:Win situation.

You owe it to yourself and to your new potential clients to ask (and receive!).

Over To You

What’s your experience of asking for testimonials? Is there something that makes it easier for you? Do leave me a comment in the box below, I’d love to hear!

PS. Do you have fears that keep you stuck and procrastinating and struggling to get ‘out there’ with your business?

Click to book a no-obligation Discovery Session – this might be just what you need to get moving!


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