how to overcome fear

It was a warm, sunny June morning,

when Sue Williams, asked me if I would come and speak at her Your Signature Success conference in September 2016.

My first thought was “Hell yes, I’d love to”

My next thoughts were of logistics – How can I organize dogcare, childcare, and travel down to the Midlands (I live near Stirling in central Scotland).

I was feeling great, I’m passionate about speaking on the topic of Overcoming the Fear of Visibility (that’s my life’s work!)  I know it’s a powerful topic and I’m comfortable and confident speaking about it (once I get into my flow!)

Then I read the event page and about all the expert speakers (some of whom I recognize as ‘famous’ people), and my stomach lurched in fear and dread.

A voice in me piped up

“Who are you to be speaking alongside all of these?”

“They’ve had years of experience, and you’re just starting out …. “

“You’re not worthy…. “ etc,etc.

Later on that day, my fear crossed the tracks into excitement when I read that a VIP ticket includes dinner with the speakers …

I was really impressed, and appreciating the extra value in a VIP ticket, and how I’d love to be able to chat to the speakers over dinner …

when I realised, Err, I AM one of the speakers ….

As the weeks have passed, and I’ve organised logistics, and confirmed I will be speaking, I’ve gone through the entire spectrum of emotions, from thrilled excitement, to deep fear and dread, and back again.

And I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed, but I’ve come to realise that I’ve got to accept this as my new ‘normal’. (whatever ‘normal’ is).

I mistakenly thought that once I’d “got over” my fear of visibility then I’d be sorted, completely confident, and everything would be smooth from then on….

But the truth is, I still get scared!

Just because I’ve made great progress in my personal and business development – the fear doesn’t go away.

It’s just the things I’m scared of are different.

As my comfort zone expands, so too does my exposure to a wider variety of situations that are unknown and scary.

I used to be terrified that people would not like the real me, so I kept myself well out of the way, yet now I’m comfortable being ‘me’, my fears have just spread out more.

It’s well over 2 years ago that I had my first big awakening, and a lot has changed in me since then.

One thing that I do have now, that I didn’t have before, is an unshakeable belief in my own worth and capability to make a difference in people’s lives.

I now operate in my life and business from a confident, capable part of me.

I still wobble and freak out (and have low days) but the person steering my ship is firmly fixed on my destination, and checking the map regularly to make sure we’re staying on course.

So I’ve written this post as a source of hope and inspiration for anyone on their own journey to make a difference in the world, but who feels like their fears are too big to overcome.

Making a difference through your work, requires a different mindset (and I’ve written about this in more detail in my e-book Visibility for Introverts).

How To Overcome Fear…

To get anything worthwhile done in your business, you must ask yourself two questions:

1) Firstly, ask yourself what’s your big vision, your ultimate goal ?

And does your desired action fit on the path to your big vision?

Part of my business vision is to be an accomplished and sought after speaker, so that I can share my message of hope and inspiration with other introvert business owners who want to step up and make a bigger impact in the world …. and I’m actively seeking out opportunities to practice my speaking.

I know that I will have an amazing time at this conference; learning and sharing, giving and receiving great value over the two days.

Speaking at this conference is a huge opportunity for me, that is definitely part of my big vision, and that’s why I said a very loud YES.

2) Secondly, ask yourself who is in charge of your actions?

Is it the small scared part of you, or is it the strong, capable and confident part?

And can you feel the difference?

The capable, confident part of me is uppermost in my experience now, but I could so easily have let the scared part win.

I could have given any number of good reasons to justify why I couldn’t attend the conference to speak – which would have kept my scared part ‘safe’, but at huge cost to the rest of me and my vision.

When my scared little girl pipes up that this is a MASSIVE deal for her – I soothe her fears by listening and acknowledging, yes it’s big,  but we can handle this …

(and I remind her that she’s not alone…..!)

The truth is that to do anything worthwhile in your life and business,  your fear will always be somewhere nearby. Yet when you lead with your big vision, and your deep desire to be of service in the world, your fear can recede and your confident, capable self can take over.

That is my deep desire for you!

If you’re struggling to get ‘out there’ with your business, and could really use some help to clarify your vision and find out what’s getting in your way, then sign up for a complimentary Discovery Session.

Over to you:

Does this resonate with you? Do you have a clear vision for your business, and how do you deal with the voice of fear when it comes up?  Please leave me a comment in the box below. Remember your words may just help someone else!

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