Connecting with others

It was a beautiful sunny day in April 2013, when I got the shocking news that I have a form of face blindness (Prosopagnosia, to give it it’s official term).

I’d known for some time that I found it really uncomfortable to look at people’s faces, and I’d found connecting with others in a group quite challenging and visually tiring. I can recognise people but I can only see a small portion of their face at one time – so I have to scan rapidly to take the whole face in (which is why it’s so tiring). That’s only a problem in group situations if lots of people are talking at once.

It was a huge shock for me, and for several months afterwards I went into a downward spin – feeling depressed and worthless and ‘abnormal’.

I felt severely lacking …

I asked myself

“How can I possibly build a business if I can’t even do that properly?”

Do you ever say that to yourself?

Ever feel that because of the “way you are” you can’t do what you really want to do, so you might as well give up before you start??

If that’s you, then I want to give you hope and inspiration that you can start to overcome your challenges when you look at things in a different way.

Steps to change your perspective when your business challenge is ‘YOU’:

Firstly, get real and honest with yourself (with compassion)

Be gentle and loving with yourself when you ask the question … What is it about me that is not good enough?

What specifically am I lacking?

Write your answers down on a piece of paper (don’t worry, you’ll be getting rid of it later!)

You may never have voiced this consciously before – now’s your chance to dust off those cobwebs, open the windows and let some light and fresh air into those dark places (your higher self will thank you).

Secondly, step outside yourself and see the positives

Here’s a little exercise you can do whenever you want to ‘shake off’ those negatives – allowing you to literally ‘step away’ from yourself and view ‘you’ from a different perspective.

Stand up and take your piece of paper with all those negatives written on it, and place it on the floor in front of you.

Now take a big stride away from that spot on the floor and turn back to look at the piece of paper.

You’re now looking across at the you ‘over there’.

From this new vantage point, you can now ask your subconscious to bring to light some of the great positives about you.

So, for example, if I did this I’d be looking at my piece of paper (which represents the ‘negative me’) and asking

“What’s Ann really good at?”

“What are her real strengths?”

“What does she find easy that others find quite hard?”

Take your time with this, and don’t worry if you don’t get anything at first. Stick with it and keep asking – and note down whatever comes to you, even if you think it’s too insignificant to mention.

You’re building a muscle of self-appreciation here, and as with any muscle it takes practice to develop.

Each time you do this exercise, remember to burn or destroy that piece of paper.  It’s not ‘really’ you!

Finally, remember that business is about connecting with others

Being in a service business is about connecting with others and delivering value to them.

It’s not about ‘you’.

(Yet connecting with others is a whole lot easier once you have a close and loving connection with yourself. I’ve written more about how to do this here)

How you connect and how you deliver that value to your clients is your choice, and you can find a way that is comfortable and sustainable for you.

No matter what your challenges are, you can design a business that plays to your strengths.

This journey to developing your business begins with knowing what your client’s needs are, and what they’re struggling with. I’ve written here about some other things that you’ll need.

When you operate from a place of deep desire to help, and you’re clear on how you can solve your client’s problem, then connecting with others takes on a whole new meaning and significance.

You’re doing this work for THEM, and it’s totally in your power to make this thing work for you, if you choose.

Over to you:

Do you have any tips to share on how you step away from your negatives and see your strengths?

Please share by leaving a comment in the box below. Remember you might just help someone else!

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