This is a post about letting go of being perfect, and why that will be of huge benefit to you and your ideal clients.
In a session recently, a client of mine (who coaches men struggling with depression) was going through a tough time, not feeling great and feeling very un-motivated to work on his business.
He was ‘hiding’ and feeling stuck in creating any marketing content.
After some gentle enquiry, it turns out, in his words
“I’ve got to be seen to be getting it all right, and being perfect”
“I have to show what’s possible for people, and that’s being “OK” and being positive, but actually life’s not really like that is it?”
Yet, deep down inside is the belief that
“People won’t think I’m credible and professional, if I show that I’m not ok”
This hits a nerve in me because I’ve seen it from both sides.
I want to explore this a bit because it’s important to get a ‘bird’s eye view’, to get some perspective on this.
When we’re in a ‘helping’ profession, we naturally want to present a professional, credible image, so that people feel they can lean on us for support and we can be relied upon to deliver a valuable experience for those who are thinking of paying for help .
We want to create good valuable content, so that we can help more people.
“Our desire to be ‘credible and professional’ becomes a problem when it ties us up in knots and we can’t allow ourselves to be seen as anything less than ‘perfect’.”
We are all human, we have off days and sometimes we don’t have all our shit together – even though we’re paid to help other people get their shit together….
Can you create valuable content without being ‘perfect’?
If you’re helping people with depression, you might have decided to specialise in this because you’ve had experience of it yourself. You’ve been there, you’ve dealt with those feelings, and you’ve come out the other side, with a huge amount of knowledge to share about how to survive and thrive.
Do you think that people who are looking for help with their depression would want to see someone who is ‘perfect’, who’s never had depression, and can’t relate to it from personal experience?
Someone who spouts helpful ‘tips’, without ever acknowledging how they came to learn these tips?
Of course not.
Your potential clients are yearning to see and connect with someone who knows their pain intimately, and can also show them the way out.
And since depression is something that can return at any time, they also want to see that you too sometimes struggle with this.
The difference is that you’re not going to stay there..
You know the way out..
You can share with them the sort of vibe that says
“Hey, I’m having an off day, it’s pants, and I hate it.
This is what’s helped me get out in the past,
If you’re struggling too, I’m with ya, and these are some things you can do to get out of feeling like this.”
How much more ‘authentic’ and valuable is that……?
At the other end of the spectrum (and something I think is NOT valuable) – is where people constantly talk about how tough things are, making lots of personal disclosures, and almost seeking help and reassurance from their audience..
That’s a kind of ‘collapsing’ and is NOT valuable.
When you allow yourself to show up as human, it gives people permission to feel ok with themselves as they are…
When you let go of being ‘perfect’, you can begin to relax and your creativity will begin to flow again, allowing you to create more engaging and powerful content!
The people you’re here to serve, are struggling with a particular set of challenges (related to some aspect of life or business)
They’re looking to you for help, yes, but they also need to see that you’re human, and that you understand their pain.
My work is all about cultivating inner confidence, feeling good about who you are, so you can take action on your business goals, get ‘out there’ more effectively with your marketing and be more visible to your ideal clients.
Personally, I feel really drawn to someone who I perceive as more ‘established’ than me, when they admit that they find something scary, and they feel nervous of doing it.
It makes me warm to them, I can see they’re human, and it makes me relax a little.
Their admission makes it easier for me to admit to feeling scared sometimes.
Sharing the struggles you’ve been through, and more importantly, how you got out, is definitely valuable content!
Whatever kind of ‘helping’ you do in your business, what’s your equivalent example to the ‘depression’ scenario above?
How can you demonstrate, through your writing, videos or audio, that you understand your client’s pain and you’ve been there yourself?
Trusting that your ideal clients will warm to you when they hear your story, makes it easier to show up and be human.
Yes, there might be people who read/watch it that are totally turned off …
BUT they’re not your ideal clients!
Perfection is a myth!!
When you show yourself as human (and maybe even a little vulnerable), you give people permission to show up just as they are…. and they can relax a little and even move closer to you, because they feel safe with you.
Showing up and being ‘yourself’, is a gift to your audience.
So please get over trying to be perfect, and allow people to warm to you, as they surely will…!
Does this strike a nerve with you?
Does it feel just a bit too much of a stretch to show up as ‘You’?
I can help!
Come and book a no obligation call with me and let me help you work out what’s getting in your way.
Photo credit: Photo by Victor Freitas from Pexels
Over to you:
I’d love to know how this lands with you.
Are you ready to let go of being perfect? What might that first step look like for you?
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