Last week, still in lockdown and self-isolation, we had our food shopping delivered by a very helpful Asda driver (complete with gloves and full filter face mask).
As he unloaded the shopping and we carried the bags inside, I noticed that as well as stuff we were expecting, there was also stuff we didn’t recognise.
In one of the bags was a 6-pack of fizzy water and a box of nicotine patches…
Both were completely alien to us as non-smokers and keen to reduce single use plastic..!
When I went back outside, I noticed the driver had stacked up another few bags including several items that were obviously not ours.
(A big pack of toilet roll? … now that would have been a treat since it’s hard to find in the shops right now, but we’ve already got lots of that already).
I instinctively said to the man “Errm I think that’s someone else’s shopping – that’s not ours.”
There was a bit of dialogue and checking his labels, then he said thank you, took the bags away and drove off.
As I started to unpack our shopping and put it all away, my conflict and internal chatter started.
“Why on earth did you do that? We could have had loads of free stuff!
Are you mad?!” etc, etc
and the other voice said
“No I can’t do that, that’s not right.”
I felt an internal churning and anxiety, and it played over and over in my mind. I’ve shared another method of soothing anxiety here.
Do you recognise that feeling?
Do you ever find yourself arguing, or in conflict, with yourself?
Maybe you’ve done something that seemed quite obvious at first, but then another part of you thinks it’s ridiculous and gives you a hard time over it?
Here’s how to soothe the struggle and let both ‘parties’ feel ok with what you decide.
“The solution to inner conflict is deep listening and empathy “
The first step to soothing conflict is to listen to both sides separately. Each ‘part’ of you has a valid point to share, and by listening carefully and giving empathy to each side, they both feel heard.
Then you can ask each side separately, what does it really want for you? What is it’s highest desire for you?
You’ll usually find that when you look at the ‘highest’ desire – both sides have the same one.
They both want you to be happy, or safe, or successful.
When you get to that point of understanding, it’s natural for both sides to come together and feel closer and less ‘conflicted’.
You DO know which path to take, and when you quieten those conflicting voices, you’ll know exactly what you should do.
Over to you:
I’m curious to know what’s your experience with internal conflicts, especially in these current stressful times, and what happens when you try that exercise?
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