I’ve been successfully avoiding sitting down to write this blog for a few days now, but I really HAVE to do it today.
Just one more cup of tea, then I’ll sit down and do it.
I pace up and down the kitchen waiting for the toast to pop up (I decided I’d make some toast as well, while I’m there).
No matter how I try to distract myself with tea or toast (and maybe a chunk of chocolate and a biscuit or six) the voice in my head is churning and churning.
It’s giving me a headache – I try to ignore it, but still those fragments of words and phrases, barge their way through.
What’s going on ?
Why can’t I think straight ?
I want those voices to be quiet so I can think !!
Does this ever happen to you ?
You’re plagued by the voice of your inner critic whenever you try to do something that’s a little bit out of your comfort zone?
Like starting a new project, doing something differently, or even just doing something that you think is going to be ‘hard’ in some way?
When does our inner critic come out more strongly?
I think this inner dialogue comes out more strongly when we feel we might be judged, either by ourselves, or by other people.
And because we’ve all had experiences of being judged, from when we’re small children (“Who’s the top of the class? The fastest? Smartest?) we tend to internalise that judgement, and it comes out as a critical voice from within us whenever we approach a situation that’s unfamiliar.
How can we resolve this and have more peaceful inner dialogue?
There are four steps to resolving the judgement and drama going on in your head.
The first step is to listen to what’s actually going on in your head.
And the easiest way to do that is to write it down and get it out on paper.
Yep, just write it down exactly as you hear it.
Once these hurtful words are down on paper, you can start to make real ‘objective’ sense of it.
For example, my voices were saying
“You shouldn’t have started this, you’ll never finish”
“It’s too hard”
“People will see through you, you won’t fool them”
“You’ll be a failure, again”.
The second step is to ask yourself, “What’s the ‘REALITY’ here?”
In other words, what’s actually going on, without the drama and without any judgement, what’s actually happening in the situation ?
So in my case, the actual ‘facts’ are
- I’ve committed to myself that I will write a blog every two weeks
- I don’t actually HAVE to write anything – the world will not end if I don’t publish a blog post!
- I would LIKE to write a blog post that speaks from my heart.
In a nutshell.
The bare facts.
You’ll see that when you split it down into bare facts, it’s a lot easier to deal with.
The third step is to ask yourself, “What do I need?”
When you ask yourself that question, in quiet and stillness, and really listen for the answer… you’ll be surprised and calmed by the result.
As a sensitive woman, you naturally crave stillness and calm, so give yourself that gift.
And when you add in your sacred connection to Source, be that through being in Nature, prayer, or simply calling the name you use into your heart, you’ll be guided to the answer from deep within.
(My answer was – Permission to show up imperfectly.
So I have !)
The final step is to ask yourself the question “What’s the REAL truth?”
The truth that you would instantly notice if you could look at yourself from the ‘outside’.
The truth, without the hype and drama, that comes from your higher self ?
In my case, the truth is that I have lots of skills and experience, and that whatever I write will be from my heart, and will touch the hearts of those that read it.
I just have to show up, and be my authentic self.
I hope you’ll find this process useful in dealing with your inner critic, and coming to know the essence of your ‘REAL truth’.
Over To You!
Do you have a favourite tip for dealing with your inner critic?
Do you have any comments/questions about this process?
I’d love to hear your views! Please let me know how this lands for you, by writing a comment in the box below.
(with thanks to Sethoscope for the photo)