How breaking the rules around crying is good for your mental health
From when we are very small many of us learn that shedding tears for emotional reasons is ‘bad’. We’re told to ‘get a grip’ and ‘pull it together’ if we’re seen to be crying in public. We’ve developed internalised ‘rules’ around crying. These come from both our...
7 Questions you should ask yourself if you “Need a holiday”
As soon as Christmas is over it seems, we’re inundated with holiday adverts on TV and in the media to entice us away. The lure of a holiday, to ‘get away from it all’, is so appealing, especially after the pandemic. We all could do with a break after the two years of...
How catastrophe could turn out to be your saviour
Most of us go through our days trying to be happy, healthy and living the best life we can. We avoid conflict and drama, and try to forget those past times in our life that were difficult. But sometimes life conspires to bring us face to face with those things that...
What is complex PTSD?
There are things that happen within our own families and communities that have a long term negative impact. And it’s those things that go on unseen, over many years, that can have a devastating effect on the lives of people who experience them.
Let me introduce you to something called complex PTSD.
The real reason behavioural therapy isn’t working for you.
When you know you’re not coping well with everyday life, you might decide to try behavioural therapy. You might have heard great things about it, and been recommended to try ‘CBT’ (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). You might have many weeks or months of therapy but it still doesn’t seem to make any difference. You do your therapy ‘homework’, yet still feel uncomfortable in some situations.
If therapy isn’t working, you might start to question whether there is any hope for you. Well, I want to reassure you, and give you some clarity about what’s actually going on.
There is a good reason why behavioural therapy isn’t working for you if you’ve experienced trauma.
What counts as traumatic experience?
We’re surrounded by news reports about the tragic things that happen in our world. War, catastrophic floods, hurricanes wiping out entire villages. These things are so devastating we call them ‘traumatic’. We understand that word ‘trauma’ to mean something BIG. ...
The deeper meaning hidden in your intense reactions
If you prefer your life to be simple and uncomplicated, welcome to the club! We all want a straightforward life, where everything makes sense. A life where what happens to us and how we respond is predictable and safe. But for some of us, it doesn’t happen like...
How to cope when you feel abandoned.
The world is often a difficult place to navigate. People say and do hurtful things to each other. Sometimes by accident, and sometimes on purpose. Even those people who should love and support us can sometimes neglect their ‘duty of care’. We can feel bruised and...
Signs you may have trauma and not know about it.
It might surprise you to know that many people find 'everyday' situations difficult.‘Ordinary’ situations like attending a meeting at work. Even ordering coffee in a cafe, or driving the kids to school can cause extreme discomfort in some people. If you’re one of...
How to deal with rejection – top tips from a professional actor.
One of the big things that binds us together as human beings is our innate fear of rejection. This fear can impact what we do, who we speak to and the opportunities that we say Yes or No to. How we deal with rejection (or the fear of potential...
Crying needs to be normalised!
Most of us have had experiences when we were young of being told “Big boys/girls don’t cry” “Don’t be scared” ‘Wipe away those tears and put on a smile!’ And as we get older that phrasing might change to “Cheer up, it’s not that bad” “Pull yourself together”...
The truth about self-awareness and sensitivity and why you should care.
If you’ve ever experienced going to a networking event, and being the odd one out because everyone else knows each other - you’ll understand what it feels like to be excluded. If you’ve ever stood up to speak in public, and felt your throat go dry and your palms...
You’re not broken: Sensitivity is a Superpower!
If you’ve ever watched the news or read an article about the level of injustice in the world, and been overwhelmed by a deep sense of sadness and helplessness - you’re not ‘over-reacting’. Maybe you’ve attended an event or party with friends, even had fun and...
How exploring your past could stop procrastination and accelerate your business success.
It would be wonderful if all our experiences were happy and joyful and nothing bad ever happened to us. Of course, that’s a pipe dream; bad things do happen and we often get hurt. Yet what if we could change how we experienced the traumatic or hurtful things in our...
How a great loss taught me how to find hope and joy through trauma.
18 years ago, I’d just had my first child and then my life hit rock bottom. But today I know that that might have been the best thing that ever happened to me. You wouldn’t believe how many people are walking around out there, who’ve been through something that has...
The fine wool suit that never quite fitted.
10 years ago in April 2010, almost a year after qualifying as a coach, I was still searching for my niche, so I could attract people to pay me for coaching. I felt completely out of my depth, not knowing how to find clients, and feeling like a fish out of water. I’d...