On some level we all want to learn and grow, be a “good person” and feel happy as often as possible.
That’s not too much to ask the Universe is it?
But there’s a whole load of layers, not to mention potential messiness in that description.
Because first of all, what is a “good person” ?
If you grew up with caregivers who were often critical or demanding, then somewhere in the mix you’ve probably got the idea that you have to be perfect.
You can set yourself impossibly high standards.
If you choose a goal then you’d better achieve it.
No mistakes, no interruptions, and definitely no ‘flunking out’.
If you say you’re going to get up at 6am every day to meditate, then you’d better do it.
When you decide you’re going to read 10 pages of that book you’re supposed to be studying, then woe betide you if you don’t.
If you write that ToDo list, then you’d jolly well better tick everything off.
Hovering in your mind is that ominous word, FAILURE.
But the trouble with this thinking is, it leaves no room for your humanity.
And it squashes your creativity.
Trying to force yourself to meditate every morning, doesn’t leave room for actually wanting to do some journalling or yoga instead.
It doesn’t allow you to decide that, just for today, an extra half hour in bed is exactly what you need.
And some items on your ToDo list may not even need to be done by you, (or at all).
If you achieve everything you think you should do – you wouldn’t learn what works and what doesn’t work.
You wouldn’t learn the difference between what you THINK will make you happy and what will actually make you happy.
The real truth about failure.
For a happy contented life, your ‘failure’ is essential.
But we need to change how we perceive that word.
When you choose NOT to do something that you said you would do, you’re not failing.
You’re trying out different ways of getting what you want.
And that allows you to learn and grow, and ultimately be happy for more of the time.
You can let go of that pressure to ‘achieve’ and allow yourself to be flexible and creative.
And that makes you a ‘good person’ (who’s also happier).